Monday, August 6, 2012


Known as the "Ball and Chain" or "Game Over" as our modern culture puts it.  Marriage.  Being married. Being husband and wife.  Forever.

Well obviously not forever if you look at our culture and the stereo types people have associated with it.  So is marriage what people make it out to be? or is it THE PEOPLE who make it look that way?

What's the Problem?
Well obviously marriage isn't a person with a personality.  It doesn't make its own choices.  It doesn't cause pain to the people involved.  THE PEOPLE make the marriage what it is; as in the healthiness of it, not the definition of it.  THE PEOPLE who are married make the decisions and can cause pain.  THEY are the ones who make decisions that bring up or bring down the marriage.  THE COUPLE is to blame for its success or failure.

Justifying Failure.
Then why the stereo types that make it seem like marriage is to blame for negativity?  Its simple, that just makes people who fail at marriage justify their failure.  It makes them feel a little better about something the did wrong.  Sounds like a good reason, make people feel better right? WRONG.  This idea, concept, and stereo type, like a ninja, quietly DEGRADES the seriousness and importance of marriage.  It turns marriage into a lightly taken joke that people can bail out on at any time.  Then, with the help of the negative jokes, helps those who bail out justify it.

Misunderstanding Individualism 
So why were the 50s and 60s so successful in marriage but the generation raised in the 60s fail in marriage and continue that cycle?  There are research study after research study from every corner of the culture; all saying some same things and some different things.  BUT there is ONE TRUTH that is true no matter who is researching it.  Its the idea and understanding of INDIVIDUALISM in a marriage.

Marriage is NOT a team sport.
Teams can trade players, draft new talent, and let go of current players... a "team" example is NOT a good example when it comes to describe a successful marriage.  THE ONE TRUTH is that Individualism is no longer seen through each other, 2 individual people but ONE INDIVIDUAL MARRIAGE.  It is no longer He and She it is WE. 

Center of Focus.
In the early 60s it was no longer about WE the Individual marriage but culture changed the concept of individualism to "YOU and I are Individuals who are married".  The PURPOSE was no longer centered around the marriage but turned to each person.  And the flood gates opened.  Because, obviously, as the years went on it was more about the happiness of the individual person in the marriage and not about the happiness of the individual marriage.

The Title Fight.
They taught their children, purposeful, unintentionally, and by example, that marriage is about YOU and NOT the marriage.  So it was turned into a team sport.  Looking for the champion team (healthy marriage) but if the marriage was no longer champion, we would trade and find a new team mate.  Now its more and more "okay" and common to be divorced.  One of the LEGAL arguments, culturally acceptable, and "okay"for a divorce is "irreconcilable differences" AND THAT lies the problem.


This word is defined as: "So different from each other that they are incompatible."; sounds legit... ;\  What if God agreed with that?  We would be done for and NEVER saved.  Perfection and Imperfection, Holy and unholy, we would be screwed.  Can marriages be Irreconcilable?  The bigger question is: "Is irreconcilable true?"  The ultimate and greatest example that is the prime example for all things is... God.  While the world was busy hating God, he came and brought reconciliation to the world.  Making a irreconcilable God hating world reconcilable.  Thus, making reconciliation greater.  Is a marriage Irreconcilable? Can the irreconcilable be reconciled? Yes.  God showed that word is not true.

Jesus himself verified that marriage is designed by God and that its MAN that tends to disagree and screw it up (Mark 10:9).  But he also said that they "are no longer two but one". 

What does this mean?  
The common and culturally accepted individualistic concept of the 60s is a lie that destroys marriage and continues to this day. 

Successful Marriage.
When the 2 individuals give up their individualism of self and become ONE individual unified by the common truths of SELFLESSNESS and UNLIMITED RECONCILIATION then and ONLY then the marriage will be on the road to success and exit the highway of failure.

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